Attending a Love in Marriage Celebration
There was a time in history when important marriages were Arranged Marriages. In contrast, a love marriage is one which is driven solely by the couple, with or without the consent of their parents, culture, or society. While there is no clear definition of love marriage, the term was in common use globally during the Victorian era.
Love marriage’s purpose is to nurture one another. Loving the spouse in ways that help him/her grow toward the best they can be. Love is seen as an action. Ultimately, the mutual action of loving one’s spouse brings growth, intimacy and joy to both partners.
A Journey of this type is undertaking an Equality Marriage, and I attended as a witness on May 19-20, 2024. This was not a frivolous undertaking by any means. For the Bride is in her 80’s, the Groom in his 60’s, and both are not strangers to matrimony. Each has been married before. Each has children. Their marriage, this time around, is in honor of the support each would bring the other in Love and Life. Equality in each brings full life experience to bear within this union.
The Journey to this day was arduous and long, fraught with life challenges both emotionally and physically. Each of their odysseys entailed intense courage, focus, soul searching and life-changing decisions, many in conflict with the cultural norms of the day.
The Journey for the bride was to craft a life authentic enough for her to use poise, strength and the whole of her sensuality to live a life of feminine power and presence--and that would allow her to maneuver within a man’s world. She lived and worked with a chic sophistication of dress and manner like a classic Hollywood star (a persona such as Hedy Lamarr, Catherine Deneuve, Marlene Dietrich, Katherine Hepburn or Lana Turner). The number of her male suitors and relationships would make Taylor Swift blush.
The Journey for the Groom was through the terrain of sexual discrimination. First as a woman and then as a man. He had to come up with courage enough to proclaim an identity. He underwent the process of self-discovery by challenging all the cultural biases, to become the manifestation of his authentic self.
He courageously persisted through the maze of conflicting duality while engaging in employment, relationships with family and friends, and with public perceptions and concepts of what is a man. He was pushing through, coming to his authentic self, giving and receiving Love for himself and others. The Groom was a Transgender female to male. He has become a man, in the truest sense of the word. He is successful in his exploration of Who am I? and How do I want to represent myself in the world?
I was happy to receive their wedding invitation. Surprised too, to find that I had been booked in a room for me at the Triada Palm Springs. This Marriott Autograph Collection property has a colorful past, including rumors of secret rendezvouses between Elizabeth Taylor and Howard Hughes!
Sunday, May 19, 2024, was the start of the two-day event in Palm Springs, California. In attendance were Prosperos students Larry Brynes and Debi Brynes, joining approximately 38-40 guests. The next day we traveled across town to the venue called P. S. Underground, a performance space that does Dinner and Brunch theater shows. The location had been hired for the Marriage Ceremony and Brunch.
The bride was walked through the room by the groom’s son, while the bride’s son was being face timed on a phone. Once in front of those assembled the presiding minister asked who gives the bride. The son who was face timing acknowledged that he did. Vows were exchanged and a declaration of marriage was proclaimed. The bride’s dress was stunning in a sea foam green and lace. The bride had worked on this classic 1930’s style grown and lace cap/veil for 6 to 8 hours a day, for the better part of 3 months. After the vows, in Aala’s (the bride's) need for comfort, she took off the gown and continued in a more comfortable print dress.
No one present missed the significance nor the monumental meaning of what had occurred at this wedding. I was honored to be at this event, publicly acknowledging two people's love, displayed openly. There was an equality that was consistent with tradition, yet inclusive of the Straight community as well as LGBTQ+ people.
This is the true meaning of marriage, at the Horizon of our lives and perhaps, in the future of our new century.