Real

I was shattered and flooded with the euphoria of truth all in the same motion.

It came like that, when I felt lost, the bricks under my feet beginning to dissolve.

What is happening to me, help, someone explain.

I feel shattered, no gradual loosening, and that typhon of euphoria,

Why am I crying and feeling wonderment at the same time?

What am I crying about?

Let me explain what’s happening to me.

But I can’t, I can’t, I can’t stop crying.

I don’t know what’s happening to me.

Now I need actual help not some pretend game.

I need the actual God

I need the actual Divine Being, the one that comes down out of Heaven and actually does something.

I need that guy.

I’ll be real now, I’ll be real now.

I can stop pretending.

I don’t have to worry any more. I can drop the pretense.

It is so…so exhausting.

I didn’t know. I just didn’t know. I just never knew.

I don’t have to live for other people’s opinions anymore.

I am free to chose my life, my direction and my actions and I chose to be free.

So………………I will not strike back, because I am not here

My door is open

You can come in from the cold

Leave everything at the door, for I wish you to be free too

You won’t be hiding anything from me anyway, so don’t exhaust yourself trying.

You cannot get me to join in your game of accuse, defend and win

For I am free and I chose balance and continuity and I damn forkin love people.

And I can finally stop pretending I don’t.