WHAT DID SHE HEAR?-1

(Estes Park, circa 1976)

By Pam Rodolph, H.W., M.

(Any similarity to actual persons or places is completely intentional to protect the innocent. I reserve the right to stretch the truth with license to misrepresent according to my highest misunderstanding.)

(This story continues next month. Come on back—You might recognize some of the people.)

Ramey climbed the stairs to her apartment with flyer in hand. It was an announcement about something called Assembly. As she got to the top step, she reached for the railing and heard a pop and felt the railing vibrate. It pulled loose from her hand, nearly tumbling her off the edge of the stairs as it crashed to the ground.

Ramey’s apartment building had been deteriorating for some time. She had the money to move, but she never got around to implementing any plan. Besides, this had been her home for years. It was familiar.  An occasional inconvenience wasn’t enough to base a big decision on. She always found a reason to put up with the deterioration.

She looked down at the flyer in hand and read, “Come to Assembly where old hurts, old prisons, and the lethargy of the ego-centered state are released in the understanding of your innate Self.” She had been to what these people called an Open Meeting and had been thoroughly unimpressed. However, the speaker himself was very striking with a shock of white hair, a velvety voice and crystal blue eyes that seemed to stare into eternity. The Sphinx came to mind. But sitting here listening to this man talk about black magic and Hitler, she felt disappointed and foolish. She didn’t care about witches and warlocks and black magic spells. She wasn’t interested in bending spoons or reading minds.

Staring down at the flyer, Ramey felt something stirring. She remembered an experience she had when she had been deeply ill. Right in the worst part of it, there was a sort of snap inside her and she was suddenly perfectly well. In fact, she had never felt so well. It didn’t last, but it was a smack down of the mind. She was suddenly confused about basic things. “If I am ill, where is the self that was well? I know it was real. How is that possible?” For a while, she searched for the answer, beginning and ending with inquiries at church. Either they didn’t know what she was talking about or they speculated on what they thought it was, none of which was good. She began to be convinced that it was nothing, a dream maybe. But now she wondered if that “well” self was the innate self they referred to in the flyer—she thought of her “well” self as more than a feeling—an actual self living in its own perfect universe but somehow tucked way down deep within her.

 Standing there, she felt something she couldn’t give voice to. But shaking her head, she chastised herself for even giving notice of it. This Assembly was in another state. She would have to get on a plane. She had never been on a plane. There were so many ways it could go wrong, she wadded up the flyer and threw it away. She picked up on her daily routine and passed the time in her usual plodding way. The day of Assembly was fast approaching but it would have to heal someone else’s old hurts. Ramey was staunch in her decision not to attend.

Her bags bumped and clanked as Ramey dragged them through the hotel’s front door, accidentally bashing the jamb and gouging out a piece of wood. It looked rotten as it fell to the ground. She managed to get all her bags to the front desk. Help did not seem available. Above and behind the desk there was a huge sign welcoming all to the Assembly. This group had rented the entire hotel. It was 1976 at the historic Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado. Every room was filled.  

(Watch for the continued story next month. You might recognize yourself or a friend. See you then.)