What Did She Hear 7, cont'd.

We left our story at, “Her soul was waiting for that commitment. Once given, a whole new depth of discovery opened up for Ramey.

But now, standing at this table, she had little idea what the future held for her. Her eyes landed on a program of the Assembly events to come. She noticed a play was to be performed by one, Trish Haines, at the end of the week. It was touted as a one-man nudist play, or in this case, woman. Ramey was standing in the hall when she overheard someone ask Tom Charlesworth where Thane might be. He replied, “Well, he was here a minute ago looking in on the nudist play rehearsal. He hurried past me and said he would be in his room the rest of the afternoon translating. So I don’t think he wants to be disturbed.”

 When it was no longer rehearsal and the curtain opened to a packed audience, the unparalleled performance of this young woman wasn’t missed by anyone. Ramey thought the play was outstanding.

 There seemed to be a number of metamorphoses among students and teachers within this organization that year, and the names that Ramey committed to memory proved useless when, at a later date, she returned to another event hosted by this group. It seemed everyone had become someone else. There was a quiet boy, who’s serious expression was intermingled with slight merriment just around the lips. Bill Fennie traded in his bowling shirt for a Van Heusen and emerged as William. A soft-spoken but outgoing English redhead traded in Pat Hartman for Zoe Robinson. Linda became Merry; Mary, Sylvia, and John became Joan. Ramey decided to wait a while before committing any more names to memory.

 She would later be amazed that she had stayed in the organization at all given that she would never have been friends with most of these people in ordinary circumstances. There were people whose looks or actions or both scared her. There were people who looked like they had only come in to escape their rain-soaked cardboard box homes. There were conmen who were pushy, intellectuals full of pretense. There were people whose sanity was surely suspect along with those emotionally unstable who constantly vied for attention. She was told, to know herself, she must come to know all these people as mirrors of herself. Ramey was sure she had stumbled into the wrong dressing room and just as sure she was nothing like these so-called mirrors.  

 Ramey met an interesting couple by the names of Clair and Bernie Gold. Clair was wheelchair bound but that didn’t stop them from enlisting Ramey’s help to accompany them to the store. She would be their gopher while they held the parking spot. She was uncomfortable as she didn’t really know them and was on edge the entire time, especially as the couple seemed to be extraordinarily cautious.

 They were thoroughly unrushed as Bernie checked the spare tire to be sure it was aired up. He walked around the entire circumference kicking the tires. He opened the door and climbed in whereupon he checked the door locks, each window, and the air conditioning. He pulled the headlights on and climbed back out to be sure they were lit. Just as he was about to return, Clair, who was already in the car, called out, “Check the license plate. We went through some mud the last time we were out. Be sure you can see it.” She then turned to Ramey and said, “We haven’t been in the car in a while. You can avoid most problems by covering all the bases. No detail is too small.” As Bernie very carefully looked in every direction before pulling out, Ramey was amazed by the extraordinary patience of this couple. She had never seen anything quite like it.

 When Ramey left Colorado to return home, she felt a decided difference in her emotional temperature, from deeply warm to cold, though not quite as cold as before attending the Assembly. She learned much later the warmth was from allowing ideas to expand her sense of self. It would be a familiar feeling at every future seminar and Assembly she would attend.

 A boy named Ben Gilberti, a soulful-eyed Italian as handsome as Andy Garcia, took her to the airport. One day Ben would introduce her to nudity as a way to see her body beyond the inhibitions and shame she had been taught as a child. From Ben, she would learn logic as clear-cut as ever considered by the mind of men. But it was Suzanne Deakins’ RHS class that blew the hinges off the door for Ramey. Suzanne had her at “You’re okay”.

 Ramey had always hidden herself as she was sure the things she desired the most were unacceptable. Sometimes the unacceptability was overt, other times she just felt it unconsciously, so much so, she hadn’t seen that “being wrong” no longer required action on her part. It was wrong simply because she wanted it.

 But now she was hearing that all the things she desired the most were acceptable. These people, who were fast earning her respect and trust as the people she admired most in the world, the people who she considered to be more honorable than people in her parent’s world, said she was okay. When she heard that, she heard it. No one in her whole life had ever said that, let alone in some special way that greased it past all the friction she had so carefully built up through the years.

 Later, as her mother learned of Ramey’s affiliation with this group, she told Ramey the only reason Ramey was interested in them was because they accepted her and her radical ideas. You see, in Ramey’s mother’s view, you set standards so high, the child can’t possibly achieve them. Otherwise, the child will have no motivation to learn the things they need to learn. In short, you can’t let them have any sense of acceptability or they just stop. Good parenting was pointing out your children’s deficiencies on a continuing and constant basis and in Ramey’s case, was usually punctuated by some kind of physical violence. Ramey smiled and without malice, answered, “Yes Ma’am, they accept me” and walked away.

There is only one installment left of our story. Hopefully, it will help you decide to get those bags packed for Oklahoma City. See you then.